The Travails of the Astounding!

Give me a fucking break!

"If a man is considered guilty for what goes on in his mind, then give me the electric chair for all my future crimes... OH!" -Prince

Seriously though, has it come to this? Are we ousting judges now because theyre looking at porn during their break? I mean is there something inherently evil or unethical about looking at porn? When I say unethical I mean in terms of the law. Because if not, this should be a slap on the wrist story, not a burn him at the stake story. I mean, the poor fuck is actually sobbing while he gives an explanation of how porn helped him deal with stress. And you should hear his excuse for how he 'stumbled upon' the internet porn in the first place.

He testified that he stumbled onto Internet pornography by accident while viewing a Web site for people who raise and sell poultry. Robertson raises chickens as a hobby at his home in rural Ottawa County.
He said from that site, he typed in the words "baby chicks" and "I found what I shouldn't have found."
Robertson said that while he went to the sites frequently, he didn't stay for more than a few minutes at a time.
"I will say I was fascinated with it, but the fascination was fast wearing itself off," he said.

This story gets the Captain Obvious Merit Award of the month.

Oh My Lover from the album "Dry" by PJ Harvey

So if you thought the universe had tipped its hand, and you were unable to be wildly surprised/dismayed by The Possibilities, feast your eyes on this. That's right, this is a very real cover of a very real issue of a comic book that pairs that nefarious, vicious psychopath of modern American legend, and the Punisher.

Hey! "Steamboy" Katsuhiro Otomo's latest masterpiece is playing this week at the Harris, downtown Pittsburgh's ONLY movie theater.
YES, Pittsburgh that great metroplotan oasis in the middle of nowhere has but ONE movie theater and its playing a Japanese cartoon! Lucky you! Lucky us! Lucky Pittsburgh! Otomo is the same artistic genius behind Akira, and although I think it's a tad overblown, I also think its incredibly imaginative and very well done, and from what Ive read, Steamboy is that and THEN some. Cant wait, wanna join me? You should. But don't bring HIM.

Next: Anybody goin to New York by the end of the month, ole Larry needs to see the Tiger Lillies before they leave the country again. Those damned tickets are so expensive, Ive got to find a way to cut cost somewhere on this trip. Anyone got some ideas?

By the way, I recently had the opportunity to see a free screening of House of D. While I found aspects of it enjoyable, (including some very convincing performances by Robin Williams and young Anton Yelchin, I found David Duchovnys (previously of X-Files fame) writing and direction, a bit too contrived and obvious. He takes great care to lay a richly textured platform of emotional soil down before he proceeds to pluck each emotional string he can in a row. However if it lacks a sense of grace, than it excels in its sincerity. 3/5 Stars


SO early this morning I was leatrning how to weave leater strips together with human hair, when i noticed a most distracting tapping sound above my head. I looked upward in time to see one of the light bulbs that illuminates my room give one last exaserated flash then go dead. The tap-tapping sound persisted however. When I flashed a light in the direction of the light fixture I saw a bee had been doing some weird sort of bee-ramming thing with my light. He paid dearly for his daliances it would seem, beccause a few moments later, it dropped onto the light cover and shrveled up and passed away. Passed away, ugh, it died. The bee died. It didnt pass anything. Anyway, it humped my light til they both died. Thats my bee story.












Way Down In The Hole from the album "Beautiful Maladies" by Tom Waits

Satan Takes A Holiday by Jack Malmsteen

When I first met Dimitri, I like most others was just a bit uneasy. "Well" I said to myself, "Dave's finally crossed that fine line between lovable kook, and institutional freak-job". See: coming from New York, I've got plenty of experience with rats. No, the New York rat thing isnt merely a cliche', depending on where you walk youll see plenty of em running, scurrying and squeaking along with the business men, buskers and bums. The city is teeming. So to see your good buddy handle one of these 'subway cats' with such adoration can be a bit weird. So anyway, back to Dimitri. I think during my first encounter with said rat, Dave put Dimitri on his shoulder which really blew my mind. I mean, I had always assumed that if given the chance, a rat would just scratch out your eyes and burrow into your skull.... or something. Why? Cause theyre fuckin rats! But this rat was different. It liked to be pet, especially on the head, but that was only after he had the opportunity to sniff you proper, which usually meant a non lethal nibble on the finger. Luckily Dimitri and I skipped this step and dived straight into a trusting relationship.I'd put food onto the ledge of his tank, he'd climb up, grab hold with his pincer teeth, and dash into his hut to store or nibble, as the situation dictated. My relationship with Dimitri gradually blossomed when I moved in with Dave and by the end of the summer, I was letting him lose on the apartment floor following him with my camera, chasing him on hands and knees to and fro. Oh the adventure we had! Anyway, this past thursday (April 28th 2005), Dimitri died of natural causes. At three and a quarter years old, our friend Dimitri was a venerable rat indeed. He traveled a thousand miles, made dozens of friends, and even starred in a movie! Here's to you Dimitri!